Throughout American history, the male low ponytail has transformed ordinary men into leaders, shifting the outcomes of wars and upending cultural norms. Here, we explore the immense impact of this powerful hairstyle.
1776: George Washington first asked the question: Who says you can’t have white curly hair in front and a tiny pony in the back? All portraits of him only give a cursory glance at his low-po, never the full view, because that was reserved for soldiers willing to risk their lives with him in battle. By 1789, Washington’s low ponytail was nothing less than presidential, and the state electorate agreed unanimously, the only time in our nation’s history.
1776: Paul Revere’s hair in a word? Revolutionary. These scholars would welcome a “Midnight Ride of Paul Revere” due to the inherent sexuality of the male low-po. The British aren’t the only ones who are coming.
1776: Thomas Jefferson’s real Declaration of Independence? His hair. Not all hairstyles are created equal, and the diary of Martha Jefferson revealed that Monticello was nearly renamed Monti-hello because of the hordes of people who came to see Jefferson’s self-evident low-po in person.
1808: The British Army abolished ponytails in its ranks, requiring that soldiers’ hair be cut close to their necks in the neatest and most uniform manner. This further cemented the United States as a global power following the American Revolution. Centuries later, the country is home to the hit show Saturday Night Live, and the British have to call their show Saturday Night Live-UK, all because of this botched decision.
1991: It’s no coincidence that the Cold War ended shortly after Steven Seagal’s low-po was introduced to Hollywood. The US Government weaponized this hairstyle to display American cultural dominance on the big screen. Steven Seagal now lives in Russia, occasionally touching up his hairline with a Sharpie and checking in on oligarchs to ensure peace is secure.
1994: John Travolta in Pulp Fiction proved that just because you’re bad doesn’t mean you can’t look good doing it. Even though this movie was only fine, it became an instant cult classic. Critics credit the film’s unique nonlinear narrative, and they’re referring to those strands of hair that would escape from John Travolta’s low-po while dancing that always left you guessing. Quentin Tarantino refers to modern-day Hollywood and its lack of low-po’s as a “flavorless sausage factory.”
1994: Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt in Interview with a Vampire broke down barriers by creating a never-before-seen double trouble low-po situation. This cutting-edge technique to include two male low-pos in a single film changed the entire game for vampire films and also for Tom Cruise’s future relationship with the low-po, e.g., Magnolia. (2000), The Last Samurai (2003).
1998: The Backstreet Boys quickly rose to fame thanks to Kevin Richardson’s goatee and slicked-back low ponytail. The lyrics to the song “Everybody” are written in the first-person voice of a low ponytail itself. “Am I original? (Yeah) Am I the only one? (Yeah) Am I sexual? (Yeah) Am I everything you need?” While a male low-po is indeed all of these things, it is even more so when paired with a goatee.
2000 to Present: Ice T as Fin Tutuola on Law & Order SVU is known for his iconic one-liners, but none are more iconic than his low-po, which has carried him safely as the longest-running male series actor in American TV history. Many other cops have been killed off on this show, but not him. We. All. Know. Why.
2011: In the Harry Potter movies, the absence of a low-po drastically changed the entire outcome. Could Snape’s fate have been different if he had cast a spicy form of sorcery, the patronius low-ponius, configuring his hair into a low-po? As scholars, we can only speculate, but it’s likely yes.
2015: Lin-Manuel Miranda, as a lo-po-ed Alexander Hamilton, revolutionized Broadway. His hair pulled back into that tiny low-po in the room where it happened disrupted an entire industry.
These men forever changed the course of history with their low-pos, and we honor their impact each year during National Male Low-Po Month. Do something special to thank the men with low ponytails in your life. Visit a local business owned by a man with a low ponytail, attend a parade supporting men with low ponytails, or protest in front of a barbershop.
Next up: We explore the inferiority complex of the rattail.
