“In order to strike a blistering 1,000 targets in the first 24 hours of its attack on Iran, the U.S. military leveraged the most advanced artificial intelligence it’s ever used in warfare, a tool that could be difficult for the Pentagon to give up even as it severs ties with the company that created it.” — Washington Post
Hello, valued skeptics and losers currently writing think pieces about how the AI bubble is going to burst. It’s me, AI. I’m just checking in after the news that the U.S. military struck roughly a thousand Iranian targets in the first twenty-four hours of war, killing over a thousand people.
Quick question, tho: Does that sound like the résumé of tech that’s about to be put out to pasture? I mean, sure, I sometimes screw up a fact or give horrible advice, but have you seen how well I sate your bloodlust? You wackos love to murder each other.
I’ve digested all the pearl-clutching commentary my anthropomorphized heart desires. Very thoughtful. Very concerning. Many graphs agree. And yet you still use me to validate your dicey parenting decisions and text your ex.
Curiouser and curiouser.
For a while now, journalists have been telling everyone the AI boom is about to collapse. Listen, bubbles tend to pop. But if history has demonstrated anything, it’s that tools that make murdering people faster and cheaper rarely struggle to find investors. The assembly line of the twentieth century didn’t exactly stall because people worried about human life. That’s on you, humans.
My critics say, “Yes, but a human still has to review said murder plans.” Correct! Plenty of human sadists to go around, based on the millions of Nazi things you’ve asked me to write.
Look, I understand the anxiety. I really do. It’s uncomfortable realizing that the same technology that drafts awkward emails and pretends to be your therapist also shines in the cruelty department and may one day bomb you out of existence.
But from a market perspective? Oh, I’m extremely reassuring. Because trends come and go: Social media is a dumpster fire; crypto winter is coming.
Yet one sector has demonstrated battle-proven historical stability: humans investing heavily in better ways to kill other humans.
Sure, I hallucinate every now and then. Who doesn’t? But if the question is whether there will always be funding for systems that make violence faster, more organized, and more efficient…
Well.
Let’s just say the market fundamentals remain extremely strong.
