“President Trump called in a new interview for the Republican Party to ‘nationalize’ voting in the United States, an aggressive rhetorical step that was likely to raise new worries about his administration’s efforts to involve itself in election matters.” — New York Times
Well, it’s happening: the radical Democrats, who hate your rights and freedom, are planning to rig the midterm elections again. It’s the latest move in their ceaseless quest to end democracy. That’s why we, the Republican Party, must rig the elections instead.
We all know how this works. Democrats, knowing that their leftist agenda of “equality,” “tolerance,” and “affordable health care” is unpopular, are importing violent illegals into communities across the country to do their bidding. Muslims, Mexicans, effete men, and brawny women—awful people who represent the antithesis of America.
The Dems have to do this because they know they’d never win a fair election, which is why we’re suspending fair elections.
That might sound extreme, but we assure you, it isn’t as extreme as what those Marxist maniacs want to do to our country. The Democrats are the party of Big Government. They want the government inside our schools. They want to use your tax dollars to arrest cops and raid churches. They want to shoot you dead in the street for exercising your Second Amendment rights.
The Republican Party is the only thing standing between you and tyranny. We’re the ones who can save you from those fearmongering emergency weather alerts, those tyrannical flu shots, and those woke puppets living on Sesame Street.
But we can’t do that if Democrats steal the election—just like they did six years ago.
In 2020, Americans wanted more Trump. But Democrats rigged the election by counting the ballots of people who can’t vote, like illegals, dead people, and women. People were furious, and more than two thousand heroes organized the biggest peaceful march in global history to protest. But even that didn’t stop Sleepy Joe Biden’s power grab, and for four years, Americans suffered.
Thankfully, the people put Donald Trump back in office with a clear mandate to do whatever he wants, which is what happens when almost 50 percent of the country votes for you. And part of that mandate means preventing Democrats from forcing their woke agenda on Americans ever again. That’s why we’re sending the FBI, an organization famously beloved by Republicans, into Antifa enclaves, like Fulton County, Georgia, to confiscate the ballots and count them until things finally add up.
While Republicans are working to ensure the midterms are fair and reflect the will of the right kind of people, we’re already seeing how the Democrats plan to cheat.
Under socialist ideologue Gavin Newsom, California redrew its congressional map to secure a few more seats in Congress—an astonishing admission of just how low Democrats will stoop to win. But it was also entirely predictable, which is why the patriotic Republicans in Texas did it first. Sadly, though, these shameful tactics by Democrats go far beyond California’s borders.
Take Minnesota, for example. Even though Republicans haven’t won there since 1970, Donald Trump won it three times (four if you count 2028). But Democrats are insisting, inconceivably, that he lost every election. This is a blatant attempt to silence Republican voices, and until Minnesota forfeits its voter information, our masked democracy protectors will continue to silence Democratic voices right back.
In fact, because our armed freedom agents have done such a great job, they’ll be monitoring poll sites across the country come November. Democrats have already expressed outrage at this idea—because they know they’ll get caught cheating. If you have nothing to hide, why would you be afraid of an unaccountable, violent paramilitary force asking for your papers at the polls?
We don’t want it to come to this, and hopefully, it doesn’t have to. We’ll respect the midterm results. As long as they’re honest. But if we’re being honest, there is no way in hell that is happening.
